"I don't know. I just don't know". These are the words I tell myself and Jesus as I talk with Him during this time. I have also admitted that just because I don't know doesn't mean He doesn't. I don't know what my future holds and my Christian family and friends are telling me everything will work out. God has a plan and He'll take care of me and my husband. God takes care of those that love, serve, and obey Him. Sometimes that's hard to accept when it seems our world is crashing down around us. The truth is God does take care of those that follow Him. His provision, however, may not be in the form that we desire or would choose for ourselves. I remember an old black and white television show 'Father Knows Best.' My heavenly Father knows what is best for me. My prayers are now asking God to provide for me in the way He chooses. I trust Him to do what is best not just for me but for the glory of His kingdom. I encourage you to try and limit your wish list for God and ask Him to instead provide for you in the way that only He can and desires to.
"For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11)