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El-Shaddai, is one of the names of God which means, God Almighty.

When many adverse circumstances hit me at the same time, I tend to have a habit of losing focus and concentrating more on the things around me.

I will go to God, but as one bad thing happens after another, that's when I turn those around me for encouragement and support. I probably place too much expectation on others. I'll let my frustrations with people turn into depression.

During these downtimes, I do confess to God that I'm not sure he's enough. I explain to him that I want Him to be. I know that he can do all and that he is all I need. The hard part for me is that I can't hold him. I can't touch him. I can't talk to him and hear him the way I do people. With this pandemic, it's even hard to do this with people, so I'm finding myself alone. I feel forgotten when very few check-in with me. I reach out, but it's hard to reach out when I'm hurting too. When friends or family don't respond the way I think they should or the way I want them to, that's when I'll forget how much God loves me and that He is Almighty. People will always let us down, intentionally or unintentionally. God, however, will never let us down. I guess I've been bringing God down to the human level by expecting Him to treat me the way others do. He never has and never does. He's the one constant in my life, and he never changes. He's always there, loving and accepting me.