The past few years, my faith has been shaky. I have not been standing firm like I did when I was younger. It seems the older I get, fear is becoming more of an issue. I am praying about it and asking for unshakable faith. I sometimes talk to my pastor about it and ask for prayer support in this area.
A Christian counselor asked me if my pastor believed in Free Will Theology or Reformed Theology in a session. I asked her if Reformed Theology was Calvinism, and she said yes. She subscribes to the theory that God has chosen or called certain people to salvation. That not everyone is free to choose or accept salvation. This statement, along with my fear, caused me to doubt my salvation. I asked her how do I know that I had salvation then? She said if I desire to love Him and serve Him, that is my assurance. Same as what my pastor has said. But that doesn't coincide with the theory that I was 'chosen' or predestined to eternal life.
My parents took the time to dedicate me to Christ as a baby.
That didn't save me. Being raised in a church home didn't save me. I heard everything everyone else did for years. I chose to listen and believe. I had the free will to accept what I heard as truth, or I had the free will to hear but not believe in following Jesus. My parents didn't force me to believe as they do. They believed and kept God in my life, but they never once brain-washed me, as many non-Christians will say happens to children in Christian families.
My counselor's comment started me researching pre-destination for salvation. Pre-destination theorists use a few Bible verses to support their theory. We cannot discount the verses that contradict it. First, we have to learn who Jesus was and is. When Jesus walked among men, did He ever single anyone out and say, "I choose you to accept my gift of salvation?" Did He say, "I condemn you to hell to anyone?" Would Jesus suffer and die just for a few chosen? If God has previously chosen people, then salvation is not a gift to be accepted or rejected. God clearly says that it is not His will for ANY to perish. How can it be His will for a few to be saved when He says it's not His will for that? It is His will that anyone and everyone choose to accept His gift of salvation.
He, however, will not force this gift or His love on anyone.
We have to choose to seek Him and this gift. We have to choose to believe in Him. In other words, we have free will. No one has been born into salvation since the fall of Adam.
My conclusion from my research and relying on God for clarification is that I do not believe in the "chosen" or "pre-destination" theory. I place trust in the relationship I have with Jesus. The Jesus I have come to know will not deny anyone the opportunity to have a relationship with Him. He will not refuse everlasting life to anyone willing to accept His gift of salvation. His Great Commission commandment is for us to share His gospel to everyone, not just a select few. Click this link for verses that command Christians to witness to EVERYONE: https://www.gotquestions.org/great-commission.html
If you are one of the people believing you have no choice or option to accept Jesus' gift of salvation, reach out to God. Get a Bible of your own (in any translation). Pray for God to reveal himself to you through His Word. He will show you the truth, that He offers salvation to you and everyone.